You Know You're A Mom When...

I never would have thought four or five years ago that I would be writing a collection of things that peg you in the category of mom.  The things on this list make everyday worth being a mother.  They are the little things and the big things that make you smile from the inside out.  There may be a couple on here that I could do without but, as all you other moms out there know, they are still a part of the role you play as mama.  For all you non-moms...may this collection open your eyes and enlighten you to what could be coming your way in the future!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A MOM WHEN...

• reaching in your purse and you pull out a size 4 diaper
• reaching in your purse again and pulling out animal figurines
• getting really excited about going potty or poop on the "big boy" toilet
• taking your jacket off at work to realize your son stuck a sticker on your back
• shaving your legs in the shower while your 3 year old does circles around you
• finding a spot on your shirt or pants and thinking to yourself: "what is that!?!?"
• not wanting to drink too much on date night since you will be the one getting up at 6 am with the kid
• you have bags under your eyes 24/7
• going out to eat means sit down, order & eat ASAP before your son starts getting cranky
• knowing you will find cheerios in your car five years from now
• cleaning poop off the carpet and it isn't the dog's
• all the shows you watch are on the Disney channel
• you go to put on your shoes and they are filled with match box cars
• you reach in your coat pocket and find a nuk
• your big shopping adventures are to carter's, baby gap and the children's place
• you sleep walk through the day because you were up all night at a crib party
• going to the movies is no longer an option unless it is PG-13 and created by Disney
• noticing a smell in your car and you look under the seat to find a sippy cup with chunky milk in it
• you get puked on and don't want to kill the person who did it
• saying: "don't eat that!" and taking the dog food out of your kid's hands and mouth
• the famous: "is that chocolate or poop?" question
• you take your garbage out to the garage everyday so your house doesn't smell like poopy diapers
• saying: "I'm babysitting for my friend...my kid would never act like this!"
• car shopping actually involves reading safety ratings and consumer reviews
• grocery shopping by yourself is exciting and fun
• you are the first one up and the last one to bed
• working out usually involves pushing or pulling someone in something
• your pantry and countertops serve as a jungle gym

Undoubtedly, you will have lots of hugs, kisses and I love yous in-between the moments listed above that make being a mom wonderful and enjoyable.  I wanted to do a list like this one because it is fairly more entertaining.

If you haven't experienced a majority of the things on this list as a mom, you either have a nanny or are completely oblivious to what is going on around you!

| me & baby cruz june 2009 |

Pull Apart Pizza Recipe

I have been making the following pull apart pizza recipe for about a year now from time to time.  This recipe is one of my own.  I have 4 key ingredients (plus a couple of adders) and it only takes about 35 minutes total to cook.  This is a go-to recipe when I don't want to put much effort into dinner on a Sunday evening!


1 | Ingredients: Pillsbury 13 inch french loaf, shredded mozzarella cheese, pepperoni slices, 8 oz. can of pizza sauce, salt, pepper, Italian seasoning, extra virgin olive oil & Parmesan cheese.  (9x9 glass pan | serves 9)

2 | Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees

3 | Coat bottom of pan with extra virgin olive oil.  Then sprinkle salt, pepper, Italian seasoning & Parmesan cheese.

4 | Cut french loaf into small cubes.

5 | Line bottom of pan with french loaf cubes.  Then brush extra virgin olive oil onto of cubes.  Finish by sprinkling Italian seasoning & Parmesan cheese on top.

6 | Bake for 15 minutes and then take out to add remaining ingredients.

7 | Brush 8 oz. can of pizza sauce on top of french loaf cubes.

9 | Add pepperoni slices as desired.  (you can add any type of pizza toppings at this point per your personal preference)

10 | Finish topping with shredded mozzarella cheese.

11 | Put back into oven for another 15 minutes.

12 | Take out once cheese is golden.

13 | Let cool for 5 - 10 minutes before serving.

14 | ENJOY!

*This ends up being pretty messy and you can't really eat it by hand.  I serve it in squares; much like lasagna.  It is a hit around my house!*

The Mother Of All Pet Peeves

We all have that one pet peeve that just drives us completely nuts!  No matter what that pet peeve is, we cringe whenever it happens and get thoroughly annoyed.  I have quite a few different pet peeves but there is one in particular that sends me up a wall.  It never fails that this will happen to me almost every month.  I've come to expect that it will happen.  I honestly don't think there is any way to avoid it from occurring.  Well, there is one way but I refuse to give up going to the gym in order to avoid it from presenting itself. 

I could plainly tell you this pet peeve but I don't think you'd fully enjoy or appreciate it unless I provide a full & detailed encounter.  So, here it is:

I will go to the gym to get a workout in.  I lace up my running shoes and drag myself over to the treadmills to get started on my cardio.  I use the word drag because I absolutely hate running on a treadmill.  Being in WI limits the amount of time I can go outside during the winter and get in a quality run.  Therefore, I settle for running on a belt instead.  Back to my story...I am running on a treadmill.  There is a row of 6 treadmills and I will always choose one that does not have anyone on either side of me if I can.  As I am getting further into my run, someone will decide to get on the treadmill right next to me.  This would be OK if all the other ones are occupied BUT, they are not.  I am slightly annoyed by this but it is tolerable.  The next part that happens is where I lose it. 

This particular individual that decides to run next to me when all other treadmills are open will look over at my treadmill stats.  Then they will start their treadmill and set their MPH at .1 or .2 higher than mine.  I can see their reflection in the window in front of us and they have a bit of a smirk on their face.  I have to chuckle to myself because this person has no idea what they just did!  I can tell when someone does this intentionally and since I have a mean streak of competitiveness coursing through my veins, I think to myself: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!  I usually wait about 30 seconds before I increase my MPH by .1 just to bait this person and see if he/she is truly going to be that 1-up person in the gym.  Usually my prediction is right and about 15-30 seconds later I hear beep, beep.  Now it is on! 

Little does this individual know that I have been running competitively since I was 6 years old in road races or that I ran cross-country &  track throughout middle school & high school.  They don't even know that I was a collegiate track athlete; although, the UWRF Track & Field shirt I'm wearing should go without saying.  Lastly, they have no clue that I have a National Championship ring in my jewelry box.  I could wear it to the gym to convey the message, but that would just be vein.  I'm kidding by the way...I would never wear my NCAA ring to the gym. 

Regardless of all these things, 1-up guy next to me has started something he will pay greatly for tomorrow with sore muscles.  Next thing I know, this person has increased their MPH by only .1 or .2 again.  I beep back at them from my treadmill to let them know I am not impressed by their display of douchiness (if that is even a word?!?!).  The beeping of treadmills continues and serves as an inadvertent curse word sensor between us.  Before you know it we are cruising away at 8 MPH or more and I can tell this person hates me.  It isn't long that they hit the stop button and get off their treadmill from hell. 

I have never had the same person do this to me twice at the gym.  One time usually does the trick.  Maybe this action on my behalf is immature but it is fairly gratifying when I can provide a lesson to people...do not get on the treadmill right next to me and 1-up my MPH if you can't hang.

Happy Sunday!

xo

bj

Life Lessons Learned | Words To My Younger Self

So I have been trying to think of a post to follow up my last one about our adoption but I honestly don't think I will ever be able write one that will top it or even be equal!  I had so many comments on my Facebook page about being an inspirational and strong individual.  The warmth and responses I received really touched my heart.  It was an amazing feeling to have several people share with me that I had motivated & inspired them to think more positively about their lives.  Those responses helped shape this next blog post. 

I have been reflecting quite a bit about what I've gone through to get to where I am now. What better way to recap some of the more difficult & successful times in my life than to share with you words that I would tell my younger self?  Some words are of encouragement, others are of advice & hints of wisdom I've gained with years passing.  Hindsight is truly 20/20.

Dearest Brittany,

I want to start out by saying, " Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think."  You will frequently sell yourself short on how much of a great person you are and will become.  The amount of pressure you put on yourself to succeed is more than anyone ever asks of you.  You will encounter so many situations in the next 10 years that will help shape you into a strong, passionate and caring person.  You will experience hurt, joy, pain, triumph and failure.  But, without having gone through them, you wouldn't be as wise as you are at 26 years of age.

As a 16 year old girl, you will face difficulties that most teenagers do.  There will be peers that are rude.  They will make you feel inferior to them because you haven't developed or blossomed like they have.  Be thankful for this!  While the rest of the girls are dealing with acne and their periods, you have beautiful & flawless skin and never have to worry about leaking (gross!).  You don't have breasts or hips to get in your way of running a rocking 5:20 minute mile and breaking school records.  Those inconveniences of being a teenage will not stop you from going to State in Cross-country or Track & Field either!

At 17 you will lose your coach, mentor & close friend to suicide.  You will be hurt beyond belief!  You will not understand why such an amazing person had to be taken from your life.  You will be one person in a whole community who grieves for the loss of Mark.  You will never connect with any other coach in your running career quite like the way you did with him.  He was a truly special man that you will think of frequently throughout your entire life.  You will pray for him, shed tears from time to time and you will have photos of him in a remembrance book at your wedding.  Death is hard.  Time will help heal but it is definitely hard.

Throughout high school you will experience the politics that come along with going to a small school.  You are looked at as the farmer's daughter.  You are not going to be a part of the "popular" crowd.  You will wish so hard to be one of them but be thankful that you're not!  You are able to be friends with all types of people and are not pegged in one particular clique.  One thing you should do though is stand up for yourself!  So often you sit back and let others treat you in ways you shouldn't let them.  Over the years you will develop the ability to stand up and say what you believe and it is an absolutely wonderful feeling! 

I know it sounds crazy but, study harder.  You are smart if you put the effort into it.  This will take you a while to figure out but by the time you graduate college, you will have made the Dean's list several semesters and be awarded the Senior Merit award.

You will be offered a scholarship to run Division I Track & Field for the University of Arkansas - Razorbacks but you will turn it down.  Don't ever feel like you regret this decision!  This will be one of those decisions that is a fork in the road and you will choose the right path.  It will lead you to so many wonderful and great things.  You will attend UW-River Falls.  You will run Track & Field and become a 7 time national qualifier.  You will go to Nationals twice and place 12th in the nation in both the 400 hurdles and the heptathlon.  You will even become a National Champion in 2008 with your fellow Lady Falcons!

You will never know what you could have made of yourself in the 2009 Track season because you become a mom instead.  You will have loved someone for 4 years when you find out he betrayed you for almost 3 of those years.  He will take you for granted and treat you less than perfect.  He will manipulate you into thinking completely ridiculous things; all the while he continues to cheat on you!  You will wise up and get strong enough to believe you deserve a better life for yourself and your unborn child.  This is when you will have hit rock bottom but the ride back up is filled with happiness, joy and new love.

Keep smiling pretty lady...life is going to hand you some real doozies but you are stronger than ever at 26 years old!

Love,
Me

SO Happy To Annouce...

Today marks a very special day for our family.  This is a day that is filled with happiness, joy, excitement and thanks.  I am so incredibly proud to announce that Brant’s adoption of Cruz is final!  Brant is finally the legal father of Cruz Carter Johnson.

This may come as a surprise to most of you as we didn’t tell a lot of people that we were pursuing it.  We started the actual process 5 months ago but have been considering it for a year and a half now.  We’ve endured several attorney meetings, a pile of paperwork, home visits, background checks, financial evaluations, reference checks, extensive medical & genetic background forms, more paperwork, psychological evaluations, court hearings, giving testimonies, a case study, and the actual cost of the whole process.  We didn’t imagine that a step-parent adoption would entail so much “legal tape”.  It was a very enlightening experience to say the least.  We did not meet any resistance from Cruz’s biological father.  For that we were very blessed.  It made getting through the “legal tape” much easier than if we had to pursue a non-voluntary termination of parental rights followed by the step-parent adoption.

Having gone through this has prompted me to reflect on the past and has brought me peace.  I am truly humbled by where my life is and I am incredibly thankful for many things!  August of 2008 was a life changing month for me.  I couldn’t help but feel a huge amount of despair when I found out I was pregnant.  I was ashamed of myself.  I felt angry and sad.  I felt like I was going to be disappointing a lot of people.  I had disappointed myself and felt like a failure.  I didn’t know what I was going to do.  It was like I had spiraled deep down into a black hole with no sight of escape or salvation around me.  I told my sister first…she cried with me; reassured me that I was going to be OK and that she would be there for me through it all.  Telling my parents was the hardest thing I think I’ve ever had to do.  Despite feeling like the world was crashing down on me, my parents looked me straight in the eyes and said, “We love you and will be there for you.”  They didn’t pass judgment, didn’t yell, didn’t make me feel like a failure…they were there as my biggest supporters.

Through my pregnancy I learned a lot about myself but I also discovered who my truest friends were.  Some people started rumors, others talked shit and many passed judgment.  They thought I had ruined my life, ruined my track career and ruined my future.  At the time I needed my friends the most, few were left.  It was disheartening.  It is amazing how fake people can be to your face.  It was truly a very hard and hurtful time.  I needed friends to hold me up when I couldn’t stand on my own and there I was, alone.  To those individuals who left me behind and talked badly about me I say: Cruz was the best damn “mistake” that ever “ruined” my life!  He is my heart and soul.  He fills me with so much happiness.  His smile can cure anything.  I can’t help but smile when I hear his little voice say, “I love you mommy” or when he has those deep belly laughs.  I consider Cruz the biggest accomplishment of my entire life.  My life would be so dull and boring without him in it.  Hands down I wouldn’t do anything different if I had the chance!

For those couple of friends who did stick by my side and not once said anything bad or negative about me: THANK YOU!  You know who you are.  To my sister who was my rock, who provided a house for me to live in, who cradled me while I sobbed, who held my hand as I gave birth: THANK YOU!  To my parents and three brothers for their unconditional love, support and understanding: THANK YOU!  But most of all I want to thank my husband Brant.  He became a father when he didn’t have to be.  He loved and cared for Cruz from the very beginning.  We rarely went on a date that didn’t involve Cruz.  He loves that little boy more than you could ever imagine.  When he talks about Cruz his face lights up.  I don’t think there is any doubt in his mind that Cruz is, always has been and always will be his son.  The only thing that is missing is a couple of chromosomes, but what’s that anyways!?!?  So to Brant for everything he has done and brought to my life: THANK YOU!

Completing the adoption has been icing on the cake for me.  I have comfort in knowing that if I come to an untimely death, Cruz will stay with Brant and our families.  I am in a state of contentment with my past, present and future.  It has provided me with great life lessons.  I have become a stronger person because of it.  I am confident in the person I am and the life that I lead.  We will all encounter certain circumstances in our lives that will challenge and test us but it is how we face them and overcome those circumstances that build us into stronger individuals. 

I can assure anyone that fairytales do exist because I am living one.  My fairytale may not be like the ones that we’ve all read in books or seen in movies but my story, none the less, is a fairytale in my eyes.  Being happy hasn’t felt any better than this!  I hope that Brant and Cruz will always celebrate their adoption day every year because it is truly a special day between them.  We will always cherish this moment in our lives and look back at it with love and thankfulness in our hearts.  Thank you to our families and friends that have given us support during the adoption process.  Thanks to all of you that have taken the time to read this entire post; it was a long one!  I hope you have smiled and given thanks for your own lives and families because without family…we are nothing.

I want to leave you all with this saying:

“A father isn’t defined as the man who makes the child, but rather the man who extends his hands and time to help with the child’s raising and his heart to love the child through anything.  Blood doesn’t always make you a father.  Being a father comes from the heart.”

xoxo

bj



25 Things That Piss Me Off

It has been one of those days for me.  One where I feel like steam is shooting out of my ears every ten minutes.  I am the type of person that can usually take negativity, conflicts or stupidity in stride and let it roll off my back.  But, there are times that I have taken so much crap that I am full to the brim and start overflowing.  This situation is not very ideal since I have a short fuse.  There is no in between for me...it is instant BOOM!  In lue of my mood today, I have decided that I want to share the top 25 things that piss me off.  There are others but this list covers a good majority of them.

1 | Egotistical assholes...you may think you know everything but you probably don't.

2 | Being told that I can't do something.

3 | Someone saying they will do something and then knowingly blow it off.

4 | Waiting in line.

5 | People who always have to get in the last word.

6 | Someone who always has to try to tell a better story than mine (a.k.a. 1-up guy).

7 | Math.

8 | People who want me to feel sorry for them about being overweight...NOT HAPPENING!

9 | When someone drags their teeth on silverware when eating.

10 |  Individuals that are quick to judge someone else.

11 | People that get on the treadmill right next to me when all of the other ones are open.

12 | Double standards.

13 | Players.

14 | Liars.

15 | Parents who let their children rule them.

16 | Bullies.

17 | When someone trys to take advantage of me.

18 | The cost of living.

19 | People who cheat on their spouse/significate other.

20 | Bad drivers.

21 | When someone continuelly sends me Facebook friend requests.  I declined for a reason; get an effin clue...I don't want you looking at my shit!

22 | People that are good looking but always say they aren't just to get you to tell them they are good looking; get over yourself.

23 | When someone asks where you bought your shirt and then buys the same one...creepy. 

24 | People who pretend to be someone they're not. 

25 | Constantly being told to Carpe Diem.  Um, somedays I want to & others I'd rather not...let me decide!

Valentine's Day Gifts That Would Suck To Receive

Val·en·tine's Day or Val·en·tines Day  (vln-tnz)

 Noun 1. Valentine's Day- a day for the exchange of tokens of affection

(It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards)

Now that I've provided a brief definition of what Valentine's Day is, let's cover the gifts that should not be given on this day.  If you receive one of the following you should dump that guy's ass ASAP!

• An oil change
• Stuffed animal (those are for children)
• A poke on Facebook
• A poke that leads to a rash (kick him out of your car and go to the doctor immediately!)
• Nothing...this is a sign of a guy that is either stupid or lazy or both
• Gym membership
• Divorce papers (OUCH!)
• Those cutlet bra inserts that make you lot bigger than you actually are
• The book or DVD of "He's Just Not That Into You"
• Any type of appliance (unless you specifically approve this purchase before hand)
• Cheap wine
• Fake flowers (the guy that gives these is just plain stupid)
• Any gift from a gas station (white trash anyone?)
• Love coupon book (I will not be performing or receiving sexual favors via coupons)
• Lingerie that is over the top (leave those purchases up to us)
• Cheesy heart shaped jewelry in bright kid colors
• A bathroom scale
• Anything weight loss related (we can admit if we need to lose weight but if you suggest it you will soon find your balls in your throat)
• Suggest taking your relationship to the next level...a three-some (never ever OK)
• Hair removal appointments
• Avon old lady perfume roll-on stick
• Cooking classes (it would be OK if it were for both of you but if it's just for her = not cool)
• Sex for Dummies book (WTF!)
• Free hug coupons (I will take a free hug whenever I want you dick... spend a little money)
• A note in a jewelry box saying if you had enough money there would be an engagement ring instead of this cheap ass piece of jewelry you picked up for $20.
• Self-help book(s)
• A tattoo of your name (never a good idea)

Glad that we've covered this...best of luck with your Valentine's Day this year!



Shit My Kid Says

Sometimes the best thing that can put a smile on our face is due to the words that come straight out of the mouths of our children.  It is one of the best feelings as a parent to hear your little one say, "I love you" or " I missed you."  They can be so incredibly sweet that it melts our hearts and fills us with pride.  There are even times that they can be darling little angels and you start thinking you'd love to have another one!  Eyes so big and smiles so darn cute that it makes it nearly impossible to say no to anything they ask of us.

Well, this blog post is so NOT about these adorable, kind, sweet or oh-too cute things our children say.  This post is about those crazy moments we experience as parents that make us think WTF, OMG and are you kidding me?!?!  As a mother of a precocious almost 3 year old boy, I am sometimes stunned by the words that past between my ears.

Here is a lovely little collection of slightly ridiculous things that have found their way through my son's little voice and out of his mouth:

• Boobies
• I pooped in the tub
• Damn it Dad
• Eleven-teen
• Forty-teen
• Mommy, where is your wiener?
• You have a big butt
• I'm gonna poop on your face
• I fart in your face
• I'm pimpin'
• Daddy did it (when daddy is not home!)
• I will spank you so hard
• Whatever Mom
• Frickin' kids
• Mommy is a good boy
• Mommy, you have small boobies
• Get him out...I want to play with him (taking about a pregnant friend's tummy)
• Dad, don't change me yet.  I still pooping my pants.
• I went poop (said proudly)...on the floor...in the closet
• You on time out Mommy
• These my boobies (patting his tummy)
• God damn it (after dropping a toy)
• My balls hurt
• I got poop on my balls
• Wipe my butt
• My dad likes beer
• I want to put on your make-up
• I want a captain coke ( I shit you not...he actually said this!)
• I wear your pretty dress
• You Santa Claus Mommy?
• You eat poop
• I love Scooby Boo because he's beautiful
• I want Chipotle because it make my leg feel better
• I farted just like my daddy

I'm sure there are plenty more that I cannot recall at this time and I'm sure there will be plenty more to come as he gets older.  I am so excited to watch Cruz continually grow and become his own person.  I will be proud to say he's mine..that one; throughout his entire life.  There is never a lack of entertaining things that he says or does! 

Have a great weekend everyone!

40 Tactics To Get Healthier

It seems that everybody is always looking for fitness tips, tricks and advice.  I know how hard it can be to figure out where to start or what you should do.  You may get overwhelmed with information and feel frustrated.  Those negative feelings associated with fitness and wellness turn you away from it.  Why would you want to bother with something that creates those feelings?  This is where I come in!  I will be periodically providing you with helpful information that will cut out time wasted on sifting through articles, websites and magazines.  Here are 40 tactics to getting healthier and living a better life!

Get Healthier Tactics

1. Make a plan (physically sit down and write a fitness plan with goals)

2. Carry Water Everywhere you go

3. Color you plate (colorful foods = healthier)

4. Cut out fast food

5. Cut out soda 

6. Do weight bearing exercises (i.e. yoga, weight training)

7. Do non-weight bearing exercises too (i.e. rowing & biking)

8. Don’t be complacent (once you've got the body you want, don’t stop exercising!)

9. Don't starve yourself

10. Don’t' deprive yourself either (you can eat higher calorie foods in moderation)

11. Don't give up (you will reach plateaus, it is your body adjusting)

12. Don't try to isolate (you scientifically can't isolate one set of muscles and lose fat only there)

13. Drink a glass of water before you sit down to eat

14. Eat 5 small meals a day

15. Give yourself 20 mins to feel full after a meal (eat slow & take breaks so you don’t over eat)

16. Do Cardio 20 mins everyday (i.e. anything that gets your heart pounding continuously)

17. Have a specific and realistic goal(s)                                                                                  

19. Ignore the scale (don't measure your weight lose by using a scale)

20. Know appropriate serving sizes

21. Try to swim (excellent low-impact cardio option)

22. Check the labels on food

23. Consult your doctor if you have health issues like diabetes to help you with your plan

24. Do exercises to work your entire core 
25. Substitute sweets with fresh fruit

26. Learn how to do a push-up & sit-up correctly

27. Try doing reverse sit-ups

28. Work out with someone

29. NEVER skip breakfast

30. Carefully monitor the foods you consume (eat more fat burning foods: brown rice, veggies)

31. Eat smaller bits and chewy slowly

32. Do the most effective exercises efficiently

33. Work out before breakfast (body will burn body fat that is stored instead of new food eaten)34. Drink lots of water and also hot green tea (it neutralizes the effects of fatty foods)  

35. Get 7-8 hours of sleep

36. Cut down or eliminate alcohol

37. Increase your movement and metabolism by walking farther to your car or taking the stairs

38. Reduce your salt intake since it causes the body to retain water              

39. Avoid stress…it causes weight gain!

40. STAY MOTIVATED!  

            

 

Information shared from allwomenstalk.com

Turn Your Child's Drawings Into Modern Art

All of you moms out there will appreciate this blog post.  I can literally say that I get at least 4 drawings/ paintings or crafts a week that Cruz has done at daycare.  Some of them make the fridge while others get the honor of hanging in my cubical at work for a while.  I file some away in a "memories drawer" in my closet while others eventually find their way to a trash can.  It feels terrible throwing them away but I refuse to hold onto every single piece of paper that comes home.  If I did that I would probably be able to fill a spare bedroom by the time Cruz turns 10 and well, I don't have a spare bedroom.  

So what is a practical solution you ask?  Turn your child's drawings into modern art.  These DIY (do it yourself) ideas are not only practical but artsy fartsy!   There are several different ways you can turn your child's drawings into modern art.  I personally like to plug in ideas to the good ole Google machine to see what comes up.  You can search blogs, websites or images for inspiration.  I have included two different DIY projects that preserves your child's creations and adds a touch a personal modern art to your home.

1 | DIY Framed Series

• Firstly, determine the dimension of space you'd like to fill.  This will impact the size of frame you purchase and/or use.  I am all about vintage, recycled or second hand store incorporation so if you can acquire your frames this way it will add a touch of rustic charm.
• I have always had a thing about grouping in threes...therefore, the following example using three frames fits my personal preference but you can use whatever number of frames you wish.  Again, this will be dictated by the space you are filling.
• Once you have the frames that fit your personal style and the total number of frames that will need to be hung, it is now time to pick which of your child's drawings to use.  Try to use ones that are similar in color for a cohesive look.
• Clean your frame glass with window cleaner.
• Cut down child's drawing to fit the frame size if needed.
• Mount child's drawing in frame.  The use of a matte helps create a cleaner look and I would recommend it.  It is also helpful to use a cardboard filler behind the drawing to ensure that it fits tight against the glass and doesn't let gaping occur.  Gaping can make your drawing look sloppy.
• Repeat cleaning, cutting down drawings and mounting for remaining frames.
• Lastly, hang your frames! {PERFECT}

2 | DIY Collage Print

• This DIY can be done over a gradually period of time or all at once.  Just depends on the amount of time you'd like to spend on it.
• Get out your handy dandy digital camera and start photographing your child's drawings.  Make sure that you are doing this in adequate lighting.  If you use your flash, make sure it isn't washing out the colors or causing bright spots.  I would suggest hanging the drawings on your fridge to take photos of them.  This way you won't have to worry shadows, it will be on a flat surface and you will have a neutral background to crop out.
•  Upload your photos to your computer.  Create a folder in your pictures folder and title it appropriately.  I would recommend that you use an editing program to crop in as tight to the edges as possible.  You can even crop it inside the edges.
• Once you have a library of photos, you can upload them to a printing service site such as Walgreen's, Shutterfly or Walmart to create a collage poster.  Print and frame it using a poster frame or large decorative frame.
• If you have a lot of photos you can print wallet size photos and then mount them on a matte sheet.  Once you mount them you can continue with framing.
• Depending on the look and feel you are going for; you can choose to do color prints like the example below or you can do black & white, sepia and other photo finishes.  {PERFECT}

There are lots of other ways to turn your child's drawings into modern art but these are my favorite two.  I hope you have found this post to be enjoyable and has given you some inspiration to turn all of those papers into modern art.

xoxo

bj

My Very Own Cosmo Quiz

So you know how whenever you open up a Cosmo magazine and they've interviewed a celebrity, they always have that one quiz page?  That page the celebrity fills out that lets all of us readers know facts about them that we may not know already.  Well I figured I would steal a page from Cosmo and let you readers know some stuff about me, a non-celebrity...sorry for the disappointment.  Let me enlighten your Sunday!

I LOVE MY JOB!

The following email circulated around my office yesterday and I about peed my pants from trying to hold in my laughter.  You will have a new found respect for your job after you read this! 

I LOVE MY JOB!

  

If you don't laugh after you read this you are in a coma!  Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

    

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.  He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.  Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office.  I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realise it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.  I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.  So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.  It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch.  So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn.

I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realised what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, further down it traveled to my ass crack which does indeed harbor hair and it got stuck in there.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish in. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, was laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonising in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.  When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my asshole was swallon shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it could be!.

Now repeat to yourself 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is it really that bad?

Super Bowl Appetizer Option

Tonight we had some good friends come over and I prepared one of our favorite meals to share with them.  All day while I was at work I contemplated trying to make a new appetizer.  With it being just after the new year I know healthy foods are on people's minds so I tried to keep this appetizer light and tasty.  After some careful consideration I decided on what I wanted to tackle... tomato, basil & mozzarella bites.  The recipe I found was super simple.  I picked up what I needed from the grocery store after work and rushed home to get busy in my kitchen.  The bites turned out to be a light and lovely little snack to munch on while our pork roast and sides finished up!  Here is the recipe I used (SO SIMPLE!):

Prep Time:15 Min |  Ready In:15 Min | Serves:8

Ingredients

• 15 grape or cherry tomatoes
• 15 fresh basil leaves
• 15 small balls/cubes fresh mozzarella cheese
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
• 15 toothpicks

Directions

1. Using a toothpick, spear a tomato, a piece of basil, a mozzarella ball/cube. Repeat with remaining ingredients. Place on a serving dish and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Mix the vinegar and oil together in a small bowl to serve as a dipping sauce.

IT IS HONESTLY THAT SIMPLE!  THIS WOULD BE A GREAT OPTION FOR SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!

Here are some photos of this recipe:

A Place Where I Can Vent & Ramble On

We've all heard how writing can be therapeutic for the soul.  Well, my soul is well over due for some therapy!  I've noticed since I graduated college that I don't write nearly as much as I use to.  Writing and journaling were the most enjoyable parts of the classes I took.  I loved being able to transfer my thoughts and feelings onto paper for others to read and enjoy.

My hopes for this blog is to be able to have a safe haven for writing.  This will be a place where I can write and not be graded on it.  It will be my small piece of world to vent or ramble on about life's happenings.  I want to be able to share personal experiences without judgement or post tips & helpful information that I come across.  A place that I can be quirky, crazy and pour my heart out.  I refuse hold back my opinion and you may find that I will be brutally honest at times.  I hope that with my future posts you will laugh, smile, have aha moments, relate, share information you like and maybe even shed a tear or two.

Thanks for taking the time to check out my introductory post about my wonderfully imperfect life!

xoxo

bj