I LOVE MY JOB!

The following email circulated around my office yesterday and I about peed my pants from trying to hold in my laughter.  You will have a new found respect for your job after you read this! 

I LOVE MY JOB!

  

If you don't laugh after you read this you are in a coma!  Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

    

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.  He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.  Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office.  I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realise it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.  I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.  So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.  It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch.  So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn.

I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realised what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, further down it traveled to my ass crack which does indeed harbor hair and it got stuck in there.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish in. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, was laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonising in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.  When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my asshole was swallon shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it could be!.

Now repeat to yourself 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is it really that bad?