Words To My Son

There are many things I want to teach my son Cruz.  He is such an important part of my life.  I want him to experience as much as possible.  I want him to have as many opportunities as possible in this life.   My wish is to see him flourish and thrive.  As a mother, I will continually teach him valuable life lessons, even when he becomes an adult.  There will be times that he will appreciate it in the moment and others times that he won't understand until later in life.  I hope that he will be thankful for the things I will teach him.  I also hope that he will understand the decisions I've made for him.

• Firstly, I would tell Cruz that he was never a mistake!  He was put into my life when I needed someone to love.  He gave me hope for a bright future.  God gave me Cruz when I needed him the most.  The best way I can describe that time of my life is by this quote: "In my darkest moment, when all is lost, you are right beside me."
• I hope that Cruz will understand the decision I made to ask his biological father to give up his parental rights.  It was never about a power issue or because I hate his biological father.  I wanted to pursue it because my husband, Brant, has been there for the majority of his life.  Brant has always loved Cruz as his own son.  I think the love Cruz will get from us as parents will prove to be enough to not have resentment towards the situation.
• I want to teach him the words for how he feels.  It is important for him to be able to express his feelings & thoughts with words and not just actions or outbursts.
• I will show him that I will ALWAYS be the biggest supporter & cheerleader in his life.  I will celebrate all of his big and small accomplishments.  I cannot wait to watch him on a Friday night with his football helmet on and read the last name, JOHNSON on his jersey.  That will be one of my proudest moments. 
• Cruz will be shown what a good man is by watching his daddy, Brant.  He will learn that a good man is made up of brains, determination, integrity, kindness and compassion.  Cruz will see how a woman should be treated through the way Brant treats me.  He will understand how a woman should be treated, valued & loved by the good men in his life.
• I will teach Cruz that a woman is beautiful because of her brains, determination, integrity, kindness and compassion.  The important things are harbored inside of us.  Beauty of the skin ages and will fade with years but our heart & soul will stay true.
• I want to teach Cruz that it is OK to lose.  As a competitive person myself, I know that there will always be a winner and a loser.  I believe Cruz will be a lot like me and will strive to win but it is important for him to understand that losing is going to happen too.  I want him to learn how to be humble and thankful in competitions.  My hope is that he will take losing in stride and learn how to become better.  If he wins or loses...I will be there to cheer him on.
• My wish for Cruz is that he always has dreams.  I never want to make him feel like something is impossible. 

A Rascal Flatts song says the way I feel perfectly:

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you

And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you and the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get

Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything, yeah more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish, yeah yeah

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to

I hope you know somebody loves you

And wants the same things too

Yeah, this is my wish

i love you more than you know!

mama